It’s started already - “I’m dreading Christmas…”. I’ve heard this multiple times already this week and as I sit down to write this we are only 3 days into December!

I’ve heard…

“I hate Christmas and all the anxiety that goes with it and my family.'“

“I have to spend money I don’t want to spend.”

“I always get asked questions about what I’m doing with my life from people that barely know me.”

“I can’t wait for it all to be over.”

How do you feel about this time of year? Excited? Dreading it? Maybe you avoid it all together.

Whatever your thoughts around Christmas here are some tips to overcome the most common festive fears that I have been hearing about from my clients.

1. Setting Boundaries around topics of Conversation.

   Let's be real - family gatherings can feel like an interrogation zone. When Aunt Susan starts asking why you're still single or Uncle Dave wants the millionth update on your career, have a few go-to phrases ready. Try something like, 'Things are going well, thanks for asking!' or 'I'm enjoying exploring my options right now.' The key is to sound positive but give away minimal details. You get to choose how much information you give. Think of it as your social deflector shield.

2. Communication Strategies.

   Master the art of the graceful topic change. When conversations start heading into uncomfortable territory, become a conversation ninja. 'Speaking of which, have you seen that new [TV show/film/documentary]?' or 'Oh, that reminds me - how's your garden/dog/hobby looking these days?' Redirect and distract like a pro - some people often love to talk about themselves so give them the chance to do so!

3. The Power of Saying No.
   It's okay to skip the family Christmas gathering. Your mental health trumps social expectations. If the thought of attending fills you with dread, you have permission to decline. Craft a polite but firm response: 'I won't be able to make it this year, but I hope you all have a lovely time.' No lengthy explanations needed. For those who push back, stay calm and repeat your boundary. Consider alternative ways to connect - perhaps a short phone call or sending a thoughtful card. Remember, 'No' is a complete sentence, and you don't owe anyone a detailed justification for protecting your peace.

4. Manage your own Expectations.

   Maybe this year will be the dream Christmas that you see in all those movies. Maybe. But likely not! Accept that family dynamics are complex and a lot of things are out of your control. Try and enjoy the quirks of your family Christmas and give yourself permission to not have a picture-perfect day. If things get tense, remind yourself this is temporary. You don't need to solve every family drama or fix every relationship in one afternoon.

5. Post-Gathering Recovery.

   Do you come away from these gatherings feeling exhausted? Maybe you feel like you’ve just run a marathon! Yes? Ok you are going to need some serious recovery time! Plan something purely for you afterwards - a walk in nature, a movie marathon, or just total silence. No guilt allowed. Process your emotions, maybe journal about what went well and what felt challenging. Remember: your mental health comes first.

The most important thing here is to remember that your needs matter too - in fact they are top of the priority list.

If you are are feeling ready to ditch the people pleasing for good in 2025 and really start to live the life you desire join our FREE workshop in January: Momentum Maker: Ditch the Doubt. You’ll find all the details and sign up link HERE.